Saturday, November 15, 2014

The End Is Near

Photo from here
You remember playing the "what if" game, right?  It's when someone proposes a scenario and you have to say how you would react.  Like "what if you were President?"  (Easy, I'd outlaw Dr. Phil).  Or "what if you found a bag with a million dollars?"  (Easy, I'd buy a swimming pool and fill it with Cheez-whiz).  What if you could change one part of your body?"

Easy
But one of my favorite ponderables was always "what if the world was going to end tomorrow?"  That's easy too.  First, I'd punch Dr. Phil, then hug my family, then I'd go ride my bike.
Really, what this question is getting at is, if you only had a few hours left, how you would spend them.  The idea is to find out where your happy place is.

Our collective fascination with this issue may explain why newspapers always have stories about death-row inmates' "last meals."  (Easy, I'd have a swimming pool's worth of Cheez-whiz and some Red Bull and vodka).


Or maybe I'd have some of this guy's Ramen noodle donuts.

From Culinary Bro-Down
Also, you should go read that blog (and thanks Stevil for sharing it).  It's better than mine.  Go ahead, I'll wait.  Ok, you're back?  Great.

Anyhow, this time of year, the weather always starts to play the "what if" game with me.  It's 60 degrees and sunny today, but what if it's 20 tomorrow?  What if it's 35 and raining?  What if there's an arctic polar sharknado?

Dammit.
And, if you live all but like three states (fuck you, Florida), then you know that over the last week, all we've heard about is the impending polar vortex.

So, I have been riding my bike like crazy.  I've been riding so much that I have a salt crust on my helmet straps, my legs ache, and my family forgot what I look like.  But I keep riding, because the end is near.

A whole lot of fat headed to Mohican.  Not you, BA, the bikes.
On a side note, others have said it before, but why don't the people in all those apocalypse shows like Walking Dead and Revolution ride bikes?  Seriously.  If there is an apocalypse, I'm grabbing a shotgun and the fatbike and I'm heading for the woods (sorry kids).


(I already have the parts)
Anyway, what a great week of mountain biking it has been.  I have ridden all week with guys who are faster than me and tried to keep up.  Saturday I rode with Bryan at Chestnut Ridge, Sunday with BA, Bryan, James, and Brandon at Mohican, and Tuesday with Jeff at Lake Hope.

More fat

Tuesday at Lake Hope was especially nice.  With sunny temps in the 60s, I didn't even mind that I kept losing the trail because of all the leaves.

I have been desperately trying to squeeze as many rides in as I can before the weather gets nasty.  The anticipation of shitty weather is driving me outside, like a kid who got in trouble at school will walk home as slowly as possible.  You know what's coming, you know it's inevitable, and you know it will suck, so you'd better savor the last few good moments.

There's probably a metaphor about my life in here somewhere.  Something about middle age and death.


Whatever.

But, here's the thing.  The arctic volcano is already here and I still went out and rode at Chestnut Ridge with my friend Mark today.  I had a great time too.  It was 30 degrees but the sun was shining and the air was fresh.

Mark is faster than my camera

So maybe all that anticipation of awful was for nothing. Yes, it's cold, but actually, it's still quite nice to ride a bike. And when it snows?  Let's find out tomorrow.

Be brave in the cold!


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